Left Gasping- When Breath Becomes Air

       Left Gasping- When Breath Becomes Air

I turned the last page in horror- still comprehending what I had read, an incredible piece of writing - truly justifying the fact that the dying can teach us most about life.

This is a story I recently read about an Indian, born and raised in America.  He combines literature and science to truly understand life-its aftermath and its effect. He soon goes to Stanford, Cambridge and finally Yale for medical school. With endless jobs available and a future of success before him he chooses to follow his passion of medicine and becomes a neurologist.

He walks us through his residency- his first encounter with death, the emotional instability of doctors and their devotion to the Hippocratic oath.

He marries Lucy and decides to settle in California. In the sixth year of his residency his life takes an unexpected turn when it is confirmed that he has lung cancer- forcing him to count his days. He also explains the absurdity of sitting in the patients seat, powerless; when he was usually the ones to break the news to his patients. He then starts taking Tarceva - a medicine with less-severe side effects than chemotherapy.

His symptoms reduce, inversely affecting his morale and CT scans show a reduced number of tumours boosting him to go back to surgery. He feels fatigue and is not able to complete his first surgery. Surgery isn't what it was any more. 

He gives up hope and starts chemotherapy which adversely affects his health.  Lucy and Paul then decide to have a baby- a tough decision, knowing that their child has to life fatherless. But ultimately they agree; Lucy convinced that the child would be a connection to Paul.

Emma- his doctor; then gives him an approximation of the days he has left- a shock since she was very hopeful and believed that confidence and optimism can change results.

On July 4, 2014 his daughter is born. He is joyous but his happiness does not last long- He passes away a few weeks later, his daughter now an early witness to death. 

This just goes to prove that human life is just a speck of light in a pale blue dot - it is nothing without joy. When your days are numbered you should look around and feel that you made your and others life meaningful -  a true goal of life.